While Shady Paul and S.R. Smith will variably and sometimes confusingly refer to Cal as either "the talent" or "the help" there's little doubt about one thing; Cal's reserves of untapped bitterness may account for as much as 20% of the remaining global supply and that makes him essential to the success of this enterprise. Marked for happiness early by a childhood love of books, cartoons, old comics and Star Wars, Cal brings to his work in whatever medium the distinguishing characteristic of a true artist: misery. Also blessed with debilitating insomnia, users are encouraged to check the site at all hours of the night for Cal's updates, which are sure to include grey scale photos of industrial parks, interminable spoken word monologues punctuated by heavy sighs, and listicles about carbon monoxide poisoning.
S.R. Smith
Ask old S.R. about his recipe for success and all you're likely to get is an avuncular wink and a soft chuckle, followed by a vicious punch to the groin (he's short). Yes, dropping out of high school is one part of it, as is following his father into the family business of ditch digging. But there's something else that distinguishes him, and that's a superiority complex that no amount of bitter disappointment has been able to erode. In short, he's a real prick. After spending the last decade doing little more than reading and developing a drinking habit befitting a great writer, it's a pleasure to see that S.R. finally feels up to starting a blog. Now that Smith's been given an outlet be sure to check the site regularly for the sort of rambling, hate-filled jeremiads the internet has been missing, as well as for updates on the release of his long awaited mixtape "Streets Is Reading Vol 1: Crooks, Cooks and Books".
Shady Paul
Unfortunately, there isn't much you can say about Shady Paul that isn't relevant to any number of ongoing investigations. True, like his artistic hero Chamillionaire he has warrants in every city except Houston. It's also true that while he is no longer an ambassador for Cadillac he remains loyal to the storied Detroit brand and their category leading trunk capacity. When he was first approached by S.R. Smith in 2014 about the possibility of starting this website Shady Paul was sceptical. S.R. had let him down before, besides which Paul had once shot him. S.P.'s relationship with Cal was also fraught. They had been both artistic collaborators and rivals, not to mention they found themselves on opposite sides in a 2007 Youtube flame war which had tarnished the dignity of all parties. But old S.R. and Cal knew that to get their message out they wouldn't be able to rely on conventional channels, and that internet autodidact and track pant enthusiast Shady Paul was the only man for the job. We are proud to have him onboard for another round of public humiliation and defeat. Check the site frequently to keep tabs on this shade ball with the help of our new Shady Paul Shade Index, which will be updated in accordance with the depths of his darkness.

Three artists. One dream. No money.

While the socioeconomic ramifications of infinite wealth among any given populace may currently remain unknown, we strive to refute the claim of “Mo Money Mo Problems” put forth by the great philosopher Notorious B.I.G. The variable definition of value in relation to self worth is influenced by society’s need to base such value on the visible presentation of wealth, thus further ensuring plutocratic reign to exist without constraint.

“Absque argento omnia vana.”

Following the life cycle of wealth accumulation, we may conclude that personal worth follows a predictable curve based on age; however, the implication that such worth is greatest at highest age would be false. Varying factors introduced into the life cycle of wealth may include loss due to instability in economic markets or inability to perform the required functions in the acquisition of wealth. Whether age and the assumption of increased wealth plotted along a static timeline postulates the guarantee of wealth accumulation, one critical fact remains left to be examined… We are Broke At 30.

 

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